Nostalgic Amongst the Stars

Posted on Thu May 28th, 2020 @ 5:47pm by Captain Abigail Laurens

Admiral Lockwood was on assignment aboard the USS Ecliptic, a Prometheus-class vessel somewhere in the bowels of star grid 73.8, just a handful of lightyears from the Nausicaan homeworld Nausicaa. Lockwood had finished his shift on bridge and trekked toward his crew quarters to rest up before his conference on ‘Bridging the Gap,’ a multi-stakeholder collaboration to assist developing and free governments develop appropriate infrastructure and network in an effort to bring stability to turbulent star systems near the Federation border.

As Lockwood mauled over his speech points, as guest speaker, a freckled faced Ensign appeared from the turbolift and hurried down the corridor toward him which caught his eye. The young fellow was in such a rush that he did not see the admiral who was en route to his quarters headed in his direction. From the clutches of the Ensign’s sweaty palms a small metallic disc dropped and rolled toward Lockwood.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no!” the Ensign muttered as he lowered his head, reached out his arms and chased after it. The disc rolled and rolled until it impacted with Lockwood’s foot. The chase was over, as the disc flopped over on its side and an embarrassed Ensign looked up at the admiral as he gingerly picked up the object and backed away.

Lockwood shook his head as the scene unfolded before him in disbelief, he narrowed his eyes at the Ensign, “What is that thing?” As soon as the question escaped his lips he had already regretted it, he already predetermined he wouldn’t care.

The Ensign who now looked dumbfounded aimed to compose himself in the shadow of his commanding officer, fully realizing the silliness of the scene, he swallowed hard, “Its, its, it's a…” the man sputtered.

“Well, spit it out Ensign,” Lockwood bellowed.

“It’s a, it’s a DVD, sir. Yes, a DVD,” he finally answered.

“A DVD?” Lockwood looked down at the object, “What is a DVD?” Another silly question.

“Well sir, it is a digital optical disc storage format invented and developed around 1995 on Earth. The medium of that time could store any kind of digital data and was widely used for software and other computer files as well as video programs watched using DVD players. They were important in their day. And this DVD is a 1971 classic! Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory! It’s for movie night! Gosh, I certainly hope the disc isn’t scratched…” the Ensign replied as he lifted the disc up to inspect it. “If I have to replicate another, I will be so behind schedule…”

Lockwood shook his head, never having heard of a DVD or Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory before. He motioned his head to relieve the Ensign, “Well, you best hurry then – don’t be late for movie night on my account, make your way!”

The Ensign nodded as he held the disc close and zoomed by. The Admiral sighed and shook his head again – there were days he just felt old. He wasn’t sure if wisdom was wasted on the old, or if youth was wasted on the young. Regardless, the silly scene made him nostalgic for his past, nostalgic for someone in it... As he entered his quarters he quickly pushed over and dropped down in his desk chair. He gazed at his communication screen for a moment. His fingers soon reached up and he very carefully removed his admiral pins and dropped them on the desk.

“Computer, put me through to Captain Abigail Laurens, aboard the USS Astraea, priority 2,” Lockwood stared at the Federation logo as he waited…

The bridge aboard the Astraea was quiet and uneventful, which was to be expected given that they had only just left Earth. Abigail had opted to retreat early to her quarters. Indulging herself in a long shower and washed her hair before donning comfortable sleepwear and slippers and taking a bottle of wine to her desk in her quarters, first sorting through and listening to voice messages while she scanned written communications for anything that might be important or relevant.

Now, having cleared her messages and spent some time talking to David, who had only just ended the call when her console alerted her to another incoming message. Without checking, Abigail tapped the button, her face lighting up into a warm smile. "Couldn't wait to talk to me again huh?" she asked teasingly, her smile faltering and fading as she realised who was on the screen in front of her. "What do you want?" she finally asked quietly.

Lockwood returned her smile, the corner of his eyes wrinkled, even as her smile faded, “Why must I always want something? Maybe I just wanted to say hello. See if you knew that some Wonka guy owned his own Chocolate factory, or tell you that Nausicaans aren’t as barbaric as you’ve been led to believe. Maybe I just want to give you some grief about still running about in that old Akira class.” Lockwood shrugged, “I have my reasons…” His eyes washed over her as a slight smirk appeared on his lips, “You look like you’re ready for bed… Who did you think I was…?”

"A friend," Abigail replied quietly, her gaze never faltering on the screen in front of her. "What can I do for you, *Admiral* Lockwood?" the emphasis on his rank was clear as she reached behind her for a wrap she kept hanging over the back of her chair, pulling it around her shoulders.

“A friend… an unnamed gladiator, fair enough...” Lockwood nodded as his eyes narrowed. He looked down and picked up his admiral pin in his hand, he tossed it up into the air and caught it in his palm. “I’m not wearing the pin… I’m just a man. A simple tera'ngan.” He looked to her again, “Must we always be so hostile? What is done is done. Some things are bigger than you or I. You can be mad at bureaucracy; but, there is no need to be mad at me…” His smile returned, as he reached up and pointed toward the screen, toward her desk, as a small oval shaped device materialized on her desk just to her right, “Turn it on…” It has odd alien markings engraved all over it.

Picking up the device, Abigail turned it in her hand, examining it carefully. "How do I know it won't explode in my hand?" Finally, setting it back down on the desk, she found what she assumed was the power switch and activated it, waiting.

A small beam radiated from the device and shot straight up into the room then slowly crept down from the ceiling toward the floor. Within seconds a holographic projection of Admiral Lockwood appeared, in casual clothing. The Lockwood hologram peered around her quarters, “It is a good thing it didn’t explode…” A light laugh left his lips as he walked toward her, half sitting on her desk as he looked down at her now. “You’ve cleaned up… Your quarters used to be a lot more messy than this back in the day…” A wide grin appeared as he reached down and brushed a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. His holo-touch felt electrifying, warm yet filled with small subtle vibrations - it wasn’t human.

His appearance startled her, but his touch even more so. She pushed the chair back quickly, standing up and pulling the wrap more tightly around her shoulders. "I'm not dressed for company," she said quietly as she took a step back from him. "And you shouldn't be here, not even in holographic form." She reached up, brushing her hair back where he had just touched, the skin still tingling.

“When did you become such a stick in the mud? The Abigail I know is still in there somewhere, I know it. You used to be fun, always the optimist, always looking at everything with a wonder’s eye. The young Ensign I knew would have been amazed I could have projected myself at all. The young you would have tripped over herself to find your tricorder to figure out what the hell that device was, what those alien markings mean…” He looked to the device, then to her again, he stepped back, and gave her some space. “I am sorry. You are right. I have intruded. We hadn’t talked in years. Then I needed a Captain for a mission… We spoke… Then I got to come aboard your ship… Saw you again on Earth… on our bridge… over our stream… I guess I got a little nostalgic. It got the best of me.”

"The young Ensign you knew looked at you with starry eyes and utter admiration," Abigail shot back. "I trusted you, I trusted you every step of the way. I trusted you to be honest, to be moral, to be ethical. I trusted you to be a good person." Abigail brushed passed him, feeling the tingle again from the holographic interference. "I trusted you to be a person I could look up to, who would help me be a good officer and a good person." She turned around to face him. "I trusted you and look where it got me."

“You are a decorated Starfleet Captain. You are a good officer. You are a good person. Do you hear yourself? You are all of these things… Despite me, or in spite of me, who knows…” He shrugged, “up late, talking to a ‘friend,’ dressed like that… it doesn’t look like you have it too bad from my vantage point.” He lifted his chin to face her too, “We are masters of our own fate, I’m sick and tired of you blaming me for your circumstance.” His words were somewhat firey; but, he held back as he lifted his hand and his eyes softened. His hand motioned to call for a cease fire. “Listen, we can keep doing this, or we can accept the people we are. The people we have become. Maybe the people we always were… I don’t know... I look at you and I see the Ensign I knew. You look at me, you see the person who let you down. How about we choose to see what we want to see? How about we look past all that and just see us, here… in this moment?”

Abigail straightened her back as she looked at him. "That's where you're wrong," she said softly. "I don't see you as the person who let me down. I see you as the person who shaped my future. Who knows. Without your influence chances are I'd still be married to Mark. You took care of that, didn't you?" She laughed softly, walking passed him again to retrieve her glass of wine, grabbing the bottle and taking it with her back to the couch.

Sinking down into the plush piece of furniture, she tucked her feet up under her, set the bottle on the side table and took a sip from her glass as she watched him. "Tell me, was that part of your plan too?"

Lockwood narrowed his eyes somewhat taken back, his hand reached to rub down over his face as he looked toward her. “Mark? Why are we bringing Mark into this?” He walked about a bit before deciding to walk toward her. “I had a lot of admiration for Mark’s pursuit of a career in Starfleet. He was a decent officer. The three of us had a lot of fun aboard the USS Gettysberg, she made her mark on the galaxy because of the three of us. We made a good team, the three of us made the crew stronger. You and Mark didn’t make a good team off duty, that was no fault of mine.”

Abigail sighed and rubbed her temple with the fingers on one hand. "What part of the past do you want to reminisce on?" she asked softly as she watched him pacing the room and looking at her. "You want to relive old memories, what memories do you cling to so vehemently that you need to share them with me now?"

“I don’t know…” He paused as he leaned back against her desk just across from her again, “Don’t you ever just sit back and think about the Gettysberg days? Don’t you ever shout an order across your bridge and just for a moment you remember one of our adventures?” A smile appeared on his lips, “Oh do you remember…” he pointed toward her as he continued, “One time… we were somewhere in the Orion system and we received a mayday from a Klingon freighter. My XO refused to let me beam over; but, come on it was a freighter not a damn Bird-of-Prey. You, Mark and I beamed over. I was trying to get the main doors to the bridge open when this Targ appeared out of nowhere and charged toward me, unknown to me you saw the damn thing and instead of stunning it with your phaser you jump it?” His belly began to lift as he started to suppress a laugh, he could see the scene just as clearly as it were yesterday… “Well you diverted it, sure; but, there you were, on its back, with it running down the corridor, dragging you with it...you yelling shoot it! Shoot it! Me and Mark could hardly take aim because we were laughing so much… You were so mad at us, and threatened us to never speak of it again…” A small laugh finally erupted, “When we beamed back, I had the whole senior staff lined up in the transporter room to salute you for your heroic efforts… saving the Captain’s life and all…” He smiled and laughed some more. “Did you ever tell anyone about that?” He shrugged again, “I don’t know… what about us do you think about? Anything…?”

Abigail took a sip of her drink, not wanting to look at him. "I was so angry at both of you for that," she said quietly. "My phaser malfunctioned," she finally admitted, holding her hand out, showing a pale scar across the inside of her palm.

Lockwood looked down at her hand as he leaned forward and picked it up into his. His holo-thumb carefully traced along the scar. She had never had the scar repaired, something about that was revealing to him. Just like how he hung onto those memories, he now knew she did as well. That scar, to him, was her reminder, if anyone ever needed a reminder of riding a Klingon pig.

"Do you remember the first time you ever took me to Command?" she asked softly. "I was so scared, I didn't want to be there. The thought of speaking to them terrified me. Do you remember what you said to me?"

He looked up at her and smiled, “I say a lot of things. But, I remember the moment. I remember how you looked. You were scared enough. You were young; but, you had just as much grit as any of them. What did I say?” He wished he remembered exactly.

Abigail raised her head to look at him, her hand tingling from the holographic interaction. "You told me that as long as I walked out of there knowing I had been true to myself, then I would never be wrong." She took another sip of her drink as she watched him. "You made me believe in you, that your way was the right way, the only way, and I defended you."

She paused, tearing her gaze away from him and instead focusing on the pale pink liquid shimmering inside her glass. "That was the first day you took me to the bridge."

He gently squeezed her hand, “I think this is the time you got it wrong Abigail. Maybe that day, instead of believing in me, you should have believed in yourself. My way was never the right way, the only way. Instead, I think it's you… You, who found her way. Found a better way. Maybe one day you’ll replace me. Get prompted and do it better than me. Because what I told you still holds water… If you are true to yourself, then you will never be wrong.” He smiled towards her, “When we started talking I told you… I’m just a man. A simple tera'ngan. And I am. A human, flawed in many ways. I’m sorry I let you down. Sorry I disappointed you...”

"Why me?" Abigail finally asked after a moment of silence. "Of all the people on your ship, of all the people you had under you, why was it me?"

“You showed the greatest potential, in you I saw myself. In you I saw the future I was fighting for. A future made possible by bending a few rules. I don’t mind making the tough choices, deciding if the line was worth crossing - not when it creates the future the Federation needs,” Lockwood answered simply.

The weight of his words hitting home took her breath away. "not when it creates the future the Federation needs"

She very much doubted in her mind that he meant that in an honourable and above reprehension way... but more a CO that would follow in his footsteps, a CO that do whatever was necessary to see to the future of the Federation. Did he really see her as that person?

Turning toward him, Abigail shook her head slowly. "I think you need to leave now," she said quietly. "And I don't want you appearing like this again. Not here, not in my personal space."

“Never again…” Lockwood whispered as he stood and walked to the center of the room. He turned back to her again now as he took a deep breath.

“I might not appear like this, not here… but know I am not going anywhere. You are on my radar now… Whether you like it or not…” A gentle smile appeared on his lips, “I hope one day we will see eye to eye… then who knows what will happen… who knows what we can achieve… together...” He motioned his hand as the beam which was emitted from the device quickly faded and the projection of Admiral Lockwood along with it. All lights on the alien device blackened as it powered down.

Back in Lockwood’s quarters his white eyes returned to their normal hue as his pupil and iris reappeared. The device which was clenched in his palm also powered down. Lockwood sat in the silence of his room a moment before his hand reached to tap his COMM badge. “T”Prinn, Lockwood here. Retrieve and forward me Captain Laurens’ personal communication logs…”

As he disappeared from her quarters as suddenly as he had appeared, Abigail's eyes widened. Walking across to the console on the desk, she reached out and opened a communications channel. "Lieutenant Alani and Colonel Hayter, please report to my personal quarters immediately."